With the rise of social media, self-care has become more performative and full of overconsumption rather than actually taking care of yourself. Well, don’t worry girls, that’s why I’m here. I’m going to help you remove social media’s idea of self-care from your mind and help you actually develop YOUR idea of self-care.
First off, what is self-care? According to the Oxford Dictionary, self-care is the practice of taking an active role in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness.
The idea of self-care varies from person to person, so copying another person’s self-care routine might not work for you.
To help you create a self-care routine that actually works for you, I’m going to divide this into different sections:
Skin Care🧴
One thing a lot of people forget when it comes to skin care is that not everyone’s skin type is the same. Just because your favorite influencer is promoting a product that she claimed worked for her, doesn’t mean it will work for you!
So, what do you need to do?
- First of all, figure out your skin type. Is it dry, oily, or combination?
- Next, determine what problem or problems you’re trying to solve.
- Research products to fix those problems that align with your skin type’s needs.
- Lastly, buy the products based on your needs. Don’t just buy everything you see.
Let’s take me as an example:
I have dry skin, so the first things I got were a hydrating cleanser, a hydrating moisturizer, and a hydrating toner. Then I realized I needed to exfoliate, so I researched and found out that lactic acid would be a good pick. I got it and now use it twice a week. I also use a hydrating sunscreen that doesn’t leave a white cast.
See how I actually did some research and only got products based on what my skin needs?
You don’t need a 10-step skin care routine!
You just need a few products that are going to help your skin, not make it worse.
And remember, your skin isn’t going to be perfect all the time. Things like stress, fatigue, or hormone shifts can change our skin. Learn to be comfortable with how your skin looks at all times, and you won’t have any problems.
Fitness and Movement🏋️♀️
First of all, you need to let go of that perfect body myth and those clickbait videos: “How I shrunk my waist in 1 week,” “How to get a BBL booty,” “Workouts for an hourglass figure,” etc.
Not everyone’s body is the same. What worked for those influencers might not work for you. Those videos set you into a trap of self-hatred and doubt. Why doesn’t my body look like hers even though we’re doing the same workouts?
Simple answer: her genetics are different. She might have a faster metabolism than you. She has a different bone structure. And that’s why your body will never be like hers, and that’s okay.
You need to learn to work with what you have and stop comparing your body to others.
I’m no fitness guru, so I don’t have much advice to give regarding this, but the best thing to do is look for a fitness influencer who has a body similar to yours. Someone around your height, body type, and weight and follow their routines.
Comparison is the thief of joy, so stop constantly comparing your body to others or you will never be happy.
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Mental and Emotional Care🧠
This is a very important part of self-care because it involves how you feel on the inside. Unfortunately, social media has also turned this into a race of overconsumption. Journaling, to-do lists, planners, etc
I’m not saying any of those things are bad, it’s just that real mental and emotional care goes deeper than that, and it’s not the same for everybody.
Here’s what you can do:
1. Find Hobbies you actually like. It doesn’t have to be something trendy or aesthetic. Just find something you genuinely like doing and use it as a way to keep yourself busy, or as a distraction.
2. You don’t need to journal every day if it doesn’t work for you. You can leave voice recordings or even short videos for yourself, maybe every 1 or 2 weeks.
3. Be realistic with your to-do lists. Put things you can actually achieve in a day on there. You can create one every morning, but don’t need to beat yourself up if you don’t achieve everything on it.
4. Don’t over-plan. You don’t need to put everything in a planner; organization is good, but too much can make you anxious. Sometimes, a little chaos is needed.
5. Learn to set boundaries, not just with others but with yourself too. Learn to say no when you’re drained, take breaks from people, social media, or something that’s overwhelming you.
6. Prioritize your rest or you WILL go crazy. Productivity isn’t everything; sometimes, doing nothing is what your mind needs.
Remember, it’s perfectly normal to feel down, anxious, or less motivated once in a while. But what’s not normal is letting it completely take over your life and affect your everyday activities. You need to find methods to cope and process those feelings in a healthy way.
Here are some extra tips:
- Have a designated day for major self-care, or as I like to call it, a ‘reset day’. Mine is Sunday.
- Eat well. Our diet also influences how we feel. You can’t eat junk food every day and expect to feel like your best self!
- Stimulate your brain. The best way to do this is by reading. Be it a novel, non-fiction, an article, or even a short poem, just read. It works wonders.
- If you absolutely can’t stand reading, play word games, guessing games, or board games like chess. You can play these on your phone instead of doomscrolling (sadly, I’m guilty of this). One of my favorites is Contexto.
Like I said girls, self-care isn’t the same for everyone. You need to create a self-care routine that actually works for you, not just what you see on social media. And remember, self-care is self-care whether it’s aesthetic or not. If it helps you feel better and isn’t a bad habit, keep doing it. Your mental, physical and emotional health matter more than what others think.
This is just part 1, next time we’ll dive into more ways to care for yourself. Until then, take it one step at a time and be kind to yourself.
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Also, comment your favorite self-care activity. I’d love to know what everyone does.
Here’s to practicing self-care that actually works for us. See you next time🩷
-Madeeha